自从 5 月 13 号考完托福以来，筋疲力竭的的我早已没什么兴趣关心这事儿了，只是偶尔上上网看看广外考场电话查分的同学查到分数没有。原本打算等待对方将成绩单邮寄过来（要等 2 个月），而不打电话提前查询成绩（考后 4 周即可查），一方面觉得没有必要这么急，另一方面节省的那 10 美元服务费外加国际长途电话费足够我搓上好几顿了。
可刚听 Elain 说，明天广外就要开始8月份新增的一场旧托福的报名（原本大家都以为5月的那场考试是最后一次）。由于是新增的“最后一次”，这次的报名形势会比上次的还火爆，估计会有各地考生会深夜就开始在广外排队等候。
我这才认识到预知成绩的重要性。为了确定明天是否需要一大早就奔赴广外排队报名，今晚必须查到 5 月份考试的成绩。分数满意的话就不必再考了，如果不太理想就得再奋斗一次。
几经周折，终于在隔壁小毕同学那儿借到一张可以透支的国际信用卡，用手机打到美国去查分数。感谢小毕同学，要是没有你，说不定我们现在还没查到成绩。由于紧张和经验不足，前两次打通后输入信用卡号的时候连续输错还被对方（自动）挂了电话，白送了电话费。
我查到的成绩是听力 60，语法 65，阅读 58，总分 610，作文 4.5。
总分比想象中要低一些，考试的时候感觉阅读应该不会错太多，不过最后结果说明还是有不少问题。作文得分要比我想象中的好些，我作文复习的时间不到5天，模拟测试的时候总是超时 20 多分钟才完成，考试时最后一句话还差 3 个单词没写就已经收卷了。
可能有很多人看到这样的分数会很不屑，不过对我来说已经足够了，达到学校要求即可，我也不打算再花钱花时间考一遍。现在开始要两边做准备了，一边是考研，一边是 10 月份的 GRE。两手抓，两手都要硬！忽然又想起高中时同学们流传的那句名言：“搏一搏，单车变摩托；此时不搏何时搏！”
Alien，努力啊！
虽然我的成绩是过关了，但我还是高兴不起来，有些许难过，因为我的几个好朋友在这次托福考试中都没有取得他们理想的成绩。不过你们不要灰心，8月份还有最后一场旧托福，把握机会，祝你们再战取得理想的成绩！
五一以来的这十来天一直都忙着准备，最后一个星期把所有班里的课程都逃掉了（请假），没什么心思上来。之前给自己定了很多五一的学习计划，比如说每天做一套模拟题，每天写一篇作文，每天上网看看最新消息…不过很多计划都没有按时按量完成，越到后期越是觉得紧张。
考前一天在广外租了间房子住，在附近的超市买了好多零食，不过基本没怎么吃，都背回来了。 睡觉前定好了 6:45 的闹钟，还认真试验了一遍闹钟能不能发出声音。
没等闹钟响，早上 6:20 就自己爬起来了。洗脸刷牙上厕所。吃了些零食作“营养”早餐，好丽友 Q 蒂、Dove 巧克力，还喝了两口红牛。平生第一次喝这玩意，还不清楚它的药性，担心喝多了会头晕，没敢大口大口的喝。
早餐后稍事休息了会，收拾好东西又上了一遍厕所就出门了。跟华工相比，广外的校园真是太棒了，绿化做得很好，跟建筑的结合也比较和谐。这样的校园里漫步实在太舒服了，特别是在一个阳光明媚，微风和煦的早晨。一步一步走向考场，没什么压力，只是看到从各地来的这么多考生会不自觉地有点紧张。
To be continued…
Smashing Pumpkins
What if the sun refused to shine?
What if the clouds refused to rain?
What if the wind refused to blow?
What if the seas refused to wave?
What if the world refused its turn?
What if the stars would hesitate?
What if, what is isn’t true?
Coldplay
What if there was no light?
Nothing wrong, nothing right
What if there was no time?
And no reason or rhyme
What if you should decide that you don’t want me there by your side
That you don’t want me there in your life
What if…?
What if what is meaningless has a meaning of something?
What if the future is a memory of forgotten past?
What if the past is an imagination of unrealized dreams?
What if there has never been a me? Would I be hiding in somewhere watching what “I” am doing now?
Just another boring day staying indoors, having nothing but my computer on all day long, doing nothing but constantly turning on the screen, looking for nothing but a reflection of nothing but an exhausted myself, listening to nothing but those old blue sad songs, singing for nothing but another boring day staying indoors.
13 days left, and I’m still not in the mood of doing any practice.
Where is my mind?
I’m quite worried about TWE, Test of Writen English, because I haven’t seriously write anything in English for a while. I planned to write an article everyday, but I just can’t find a way to start writing it.
I’m quite afraid, afraid of losing, anything. I bet this is the reason why I always have a strong negative emotion against what I’m not sure about, or anything I “think” I cannot achieve. And this always slows me down, sometimes makes me give up, at the beginning of doing something.
It’s always hard for one to make the decision, to go ahead or turn around and leave, when the future hides deep behind a fog. I myself have experienced such situations many times. First I hesitated, then slowly I began to act, not actively, but kind of attemptingly, mechanically, with little passion. But as the due day, if there was, came nearer, I would suddenly find what I had decided is right and I would work much harder to redeem the time I wasted in such hesitation and little-effect-working.
从昨晚开始就在劝松松今天一大早出发，结果没能成功，八点半才勉强上路
公车开到一半收到 Elain 的短信，她说一早就在那儿排队，而且人巨多
我们去到的时候，两列的队伍已经有 50 多米长了
看到这么多的人，当时还很紧张以为会不够名额，后来领导出来跟大家解释说名额绰绰有余，大家才放心，还有人拍手叫好
幸好有Elain帮忙，我才能早点拿到报名表
填完表拿到准考证已经是下午 2:00 多了，看了看考场，赶紧回去上新东方
